1. “Oh sure, you two cuddle away. I’ll just be over here, alone.”
3. “You looking for paws over there? Here’s an even cuter one.”
4. “Hey there, neighbor. Having fun without me?”
5. “I don’t care if this is her first time crawling. I walk around on four legs daily, and I’m way cuter.”
6. “Taking photos over here, eh? Of this schlub?”
7. “Ugh, just let me have a moment with the camera FOR ONCE, PEOPLE.”
8. “It’s like you don’t even care that I’m here.”
9. “Who the hell is ‘Mr. Waffles,’ and what does he give you that I can’t?”
10. “Was I not a good enough friend to you, Jennifer? Did you really have to replace me? Well TRY REPLACING MY BUTT.”
11. “Sure, he’s cute and all, but LOOK WHAT I CAN DO!”
12. “I thought you came here to look at nature! Well HERE’S YOUR NATURE RIGHT HERE.”
13. “Do you expect me to stand idly by while you REPLACE ME with this AIRHEAD?!”
14. “I already told you there’s not enough food for you, Jerry, so BACK OFF.”
15. “You bring a strange man into our home and you do THIS?!”
16. “Photos of the baby AGAIN?”
17. “THIS IS WHAT I THINK OF YOUR STUPID LOVE AND YOUR STUPID RING AND YOUR STUPID LIFE TOGETHER.”
18. “Don’t think for a minute that I don’t notice you two posing together like I DON’T EVEN EXIST.”
19. “Hey. Hey there. Right behind you! HEY!”
20. “Umm, whatcha up to? Something better than me? Definitely not.”
21. “This is MY yogurt and I will NOT negotiate!”
22. “There’s zero chance that book is more interesting than my beautiful face.”
23. “How come I only get one when I clearly deserve three? I’ll take care of this error myself.”
24. “I’m part of the family too, y’know.”
25. “That one’s mine. And that one’s mine. Basically, they’re all mine, so kindly leave.”
