If you’re about to start an office job, read this now and read this again in a few days, you’ll know how painfully honest I am.
1. Lunch Obsession
Lunch time becomes an extremely important part of your life. You may never have cared about eating your lunch so much as you do now – it’s like you’re covering up for all those years of missing lunch. You can’t wait to meet your newly found love (lunch) as soon as the clock hits 12.30 pm and you’re ready to run to the cafeteria.
2. Extreme Weather Conditions
No matter how the weather is outside of your office, the inside of your office definitely falls into one of the two extreme categories – either it’s freezing out there at all times or it’s too warm to handle.
3. Sleep Becomes a Rare and Precious Resource
Shutting your eyes in the lift, on a chair, in the cab, on your work desk etc. becomes a habit and still, when you’ll wake up at 7 in the morning, you’ll feel as sleepy as ever. It’s a highly addictive drug that you can not get rid of now EVER (at least till you’re in an office job).
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4. Caffeine Addiction
This is the time when you realise ‘caffeine addiction’ is a thing, you get restless. Caffeine in any form is the answer to all your problems suddenly (especially when it’s free of cost).
5. Vicious Coffee/Tea/Bathroom Circle
You’re hardly seen on your seat for more than half and hour at one go because you’re stuck in the vicious circle of drinking tea, coffee and water constantly and so, going to the bathroom even more. It’s so bad sometimes that you wonder if you have a sugar problem.
6. Mr. Creep
There will be that one (or many more) person that you find exceptionally creepy in office and you make sure everyone around you knows that. In fact, it really helps in bonding with most of your colleagues who share (or don’t share) the same thought process.
7. Casual (any) Weekday
Your happiness becomes inexpensive – like a dessert monday or a good food wednesday – are enough to make you as excited as all the other times.
8. Co-worker or Friends = Lots of confusion
You start off as colleagues but you realise they have actually become friends when you’re talking about them with your family and friends and you’re like “You know my friend, I mean colleague, I mean colleague who’s a friend. Aaaahhh.” Why can’t there be a word to define your relationship with a colleague who’s a friend??? After all, you spend most part of your day with them.
9. Work Snacking
You may be one of those office-goers who love eating at their desks, the consequences of which are totally destructive – you don’t want to know.
10. Work Diet
Or you may be one of those who often forget to eat while they’re at work, be it stress or just an absent mind, whatever it is, that may be harmful too. Not eating for ten straight hours can’t be good for your health after all.
11. Inevitable Weight Gain
You’re truly an exception if you don’t gain weight as soon as you start going to office – from all the birthdays, office parties, conferences etc.
12. Most Needed Dieting
You first announce it in the office that you’re going to start dieting after all the weight gain. However, your announcement soon becomes a punishment because office people are too understanding in that sense.
13. Facebook Anxiety
One by one you add your colleagues on Facebook as and when you want to know more about them. You had lunch today with a colleague you just met at office who seemed smart, you’ll add her on Facebook just to see if people around her are as smart. Is it crazy? Yes. On the other hand, you’ll make sure you restrict your office people from seeing your complete profile because you’re too embarrassed and it’s too early to share with them the real you.
14. Multi-tasking Expert
There are at least ten other tabs open on your computer while you’re at work, apart from your office email and projects – one for Facebook, one for work IM, one for your personal email, one for youtube and many other tabs for awesome articles, videos and online series. And guess what? You’re still able to achieve your monthly targets (most of the times).
Unless you’re the kind of person who brings home food to office to keep healthy, junk food and all sorts of food chains are all you look out for around your office building.
16. IM Alert
IM from you boss is somehow the scariest thing in your life these days.
17. Work Playlist
You most definitely have a work playlist for every work mood or you’ve at least thought of making one and even tried making one but couldn’t ever because well, YOU’RE BUSY WORKING.
18. Irreplaceable Office Humor
Funny, not funny or cliché – any kind of humor in office is irresistibly funny. Sometimes, the things you laugh about at office really surprise you once you’re home.
19. Office Crush – Mandatory
Regardless of your relationship status, you have a work crush that keeps your life going on the most boring days in office. It at least helps you in looking presentable in office at all times.
20. Happy Hours – An Essential Part of Work Life
You know almost all places that have happy hours on weekdays since that’s where you go off to with your fro-workers (friends plus co-workers) every time you’re having a stressful day at work AND because you’re paying out of your salary now and not your pocket money.
21. Friends with Secrets
You’ll know almost every detail of any and every important/not-so-important thing in your co-workers’ lives. It’s not essential but it’s inevitable.
22. Work Tone and Accent
You tend to develop a particular style of speaking with your clients and you don’t realize it until you start getting the looks.
23. Blessing in Disguise – Office Pranks
You love the people who spice up your office life by troubling you and playing pranks on you in office. Although you retaliate in a way that shows them your (fake) irritation, you absolutely love them.
24. Embarrassing Moments
Sitting in office for ten hours involves horrific times such as your co-worker farting or burping loudly and as much as you want to laugh at it, you just let go, take in your laughter as it is and move on. Same applies when YOU do the same thing – you look around and move on.
25. Intense Hatred for Irritating Habits
You’ll sometimes snap at the co-worker sitting close to you because of his/her irritating habits that only affect you when you’re super stressed about meeting your targets and you have no time left. Not to forget – you’ll conveniently forget all about it when you do the same thing the very next minute with a very straight face.
26. Unavoidable Stressful Days
There will be bad news every now and then – a team member gets fired, your boss rejects your proposal or a client cancels a deal at the last minute – you will react overly dramatically but people around you will completely understand without judging you.
27. Work or Personal Email?
There’s a lot of confusion in your life about what email id to give whom. You just make it simple by converting your work email into your personal email. It’s just easier that way.
28. Eating under pressure
There are a hell lot of times when you eat only because you don’t want your co-workers to judge you – you don’t want them to know that you’re trying to lose weight. Birthday cake? Bring it on!
29. Something About People in Suits
You will now have a special place in your heart for all those movies and shows about office life because by now, you really feel for every person in the world who got tricked into choosing an office life.
30. But then…
…when you remember the times you’ve had with your office folks and the most awesome times that are yet to come, you forget most bad parts about having an office life.